Let me let you go
by bibi 13ca
Summary: She wants him, then she pushes him away...Damon's had enogh of Elena's tease game. *the F word here and there, slight language and mention of violance* Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**N: So, don't ask me where this came from because I have no idea. It just popped into my head and I had to write it. Hope you'll enjoy.**

**I'm sorry for any mistakes you might find, but I didn't want to bother any of my girl with beta-ing this. As always, if you have any question, please don't hesitate to contact me.**

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><p><strong>Let me let you go<strong>

"I really don't think you should go there," Stefan shouted after Elena. She stopped half way and turned around to look at Stefan who was no at the bottom of the stairs.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"Because the Damon in there is not the same Damon you know."

"I can handle Damon," she scoffed. It was the truth, even at his worse, she could handle him.

"You can handle nice, in-love-with-you Damon, but you can't handle this one, believe me," he said looking at her like she was some stupid little child that didn't understand the severity of a certain situation.

There was something in Stefan's eyes, something she haven't seen in a while – concern. Seeing him worried, even if there was a chance she was mistaken, made Elena question her move for a second.

"I have to talk to him," she said like that was supposed to explain everything.

"Just wait for a few days," Stefan asked, but she was already gone and he decided Elena was way too stubborn to be stopped if she made up her mind.

As soon as she got in front of Damon's door, she stopped. She took a deep breath to keep calm – of course that did not help – then she finally turned the knob and pushed the door open. As she advanced far enough towards the middle of the room, she noticed that Damon wasn't alone in his huge bed. There was a tiny frame beside him. All Elena could actually say for sure was that she had platinum blond hair and French manicure.

"What do you want Elena?" she heard Damon's suave voice close to her. She blinked and there he was, in front of her.

"I…I need to talk to you," she mumbled.

"Damon?"

Damon and Elena both turned their attention to the blonde. The girl brushed the hair off her face and when she turned around, Elena noticed a few bite marks on her neck and wrist.

"What did you do?" she asked looking at Damon. Her eyes wide open, in search of his cobalt blues.

"I assure you that there isn't one thing I did to that girl that she didn't enjoy it," he said and a cocky grin formed on his lips; a grin Elena hadn't seen in a while.

"But…"

"Oh no you don't! You don't get to march into _my_ house, into _my_ bedroom and lecture me. You don't get to use that sweet, hurt tone and tell me I'm better than this. You don't get to tell me how to behave."

"Damon…" she whispered. Her mad voice from earlier faded like magic and now her voice was calm and smooth. She stretched her hand to place it on his upper hand, but he immediately brushed it off.

"Not this time, Elena. That's it, I'm done. I'm done being the one you go to when everything goes to hell and then then push away once your knight in shining armor comes back from his killing spree. I'm done being the one you obviously want to fuck but not take home to your mother or friends. And I am certainly done doing everything in my power to save you and get fucking lectured about it."

Elena took a step back as a defence mechanism against his harsh words, but Damon followed. He clearly didn't want any real space between them.

"No more nice Damon. I tried…I fucking tried, but it didn't work. If even my squirrel eating brother tells me I lost it, then I am definitely losing it. Do you know how I was like before I met you?" he asked, but he didn't wait for her to answer. "Well, for instance I didn't give a crap about anyone or anything and you know what? It was better. I used to take what I want, when I wanted it and how I wanted it."

Two more tiny steps and her back hit the cold wall. She gasped at the contact. Her breath was chaotic and heavy, like she had just ran a marathon. She was looking Damon in the eyes, but it wasn't Damon she was seeing. The man inside was gone…all gone and all it was left was the demon.

"Damon, please…" she pleaded. That was her only chance. She knew that her begs were Damon's weakness, she knew that he hadn't been able to refuse her anything if she asked for it. But Damon didn't even blink.

"That won't work. You know, I don't get you. You're so fucking scared you're going to lose him that you refuse to admit you feel something for me…I know you do…" he was so close to her, Elena could smell the soft scent of his shampoo.

"Elena? Damon, what the hell?" Stefan asked as he entered the room. Damon turned to look at his brother with a malicious grin on his face. Before Damon could say anything, Stefan launched himself at his brother. The next minute was a blur. Elena was not able to tell what was happening, because they were moving way too fast. All of a sudden she heard a glass shattering and Damon was back invading her personal space.

"Just because you ripped a few people apart for a few moths doesn't mean you are stronger than me. You will never be stronger, get that in your head brother," he yelled and a few seconds later Stefan was back in the room. "Tell your boyfriend to go away or I'll rip his heart out," he purred into Elena's ear and she shivered.

She turned he head to look at Stefan. There was blood pouring from his nose and upper lip, her ear looked split in two and there were some minor scratches on her neck…he looked bad. "It's ok Stefan, you can go. I'll be fine," she said with a lot more confidence she actually had.

She had never seen Damon like this before, not even when he first came into town with the only purpose to get Katherine out of the tomb. Scared? She was not scared, she was beyond that. She was fucking terrified. No…she wasn't scared of getting hurt, not physically anyway. She had been hurt before, even killed, she wasn't afraid of that. What terrified her was the thought of losing Damon.

As soon as Stefan compelled the young girl and they both left the room, there was a moment of silence. Elena thought he will snap at her again, she thought he might yell at her, what she didn't expect was what he actually did.

He took a step back and his right hand cupped her face. His fingers started softly caressing her flesh. His moves were so light and delicate, like she was something precious and fragile and he was afraid he might break her.

She looked up and as soon as their eyes met, Elena's breath got caught up in her throat. Even since she met Damon, she had this unexplained ability to read him. Every emotion and every thought that rushed through his mind, she would feel it too. There was an understanding, a connection between them that sometimes was scaring her. She knew him better than anyone else and he knew her better than anyone else. That connection between them was overwhelming at times, but a part of her felt like she might not be able to live without it.

Right now Elena was looking into Damon's eyes, desperately looking for that spark, that connection, but his eyes were not sparkling and no emotion was portrayed through them. The coldness reflected in his blue orbs was making her shiver.

"Damon…" she whispered. Her voice barely audible, but thanks to his supernatural abilities, he heard her loud and clear.

"I can't do it anymore Elena," he said, but unlike his eyes, his voice was holding emotions that made her want to scream in agony. He used his index finger to trace the outline of her jaw and stopped in her chin. He tilted his head and looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time and he was trying to take in every detail of her face. "I want you like I've ever wanted anyone or anything in my entire existence," he said and Elena just watched him without a word. "I fear of losing you to the point where I think I might lose my mind…" a tiny tear left her eye and slipped down her cheek and Damon used his thumb to brush it away. "…I don't love you like a human, Elena, I love you like a beast that I am. I don't want a part of you, I want all of you. I know you feel something for me," she moaned in response. "You don't have to say it, I know. I excite you in a way that no one else does…I push, you push back…I say 'stay' you say 'let's go'. A part of you is scared of me and in a twisted way you love it…you crave that fear."

"Damon…I…what I told you that night, I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did. I love you and it's a problem…I know that, that's why I have to let you go."

As soon as the words left his lips, his eyes changed color. His barriers were gone and she could finally see inside…he was broken. She finally did it; she managed to break Damon Salvatore.

"You…you want to leave me?" she asked softly.

"I have to, for a while at least."

"But you can't leave me!" she shouted. "What…I…how am I supposed to leave without you? I can't do this if you're not here, Damon…I just…I feel something, ok? I need you, you can't leave."

She knew she wasn't making much sense, but her head was spinning and her mind was too much of as mess to make sense right now. All her brain could process was that Damon wanted to go away, to leave her alone.

"Elena you…"

"Don't leave me," she asked in a broken voice and Damon was _this_ close of changing his mind.

"You'll be ok, you're strong…"

"Because you make me strong."

"You will be just fine, I'll take it away. You won't miss me," he said and Elena raised an eyebrow watching him confused. He let his hand slip from her face to her neck and ripped off her new vervain necklace, throwing it on the other side if the room.

"Damon? Damon what are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm making it easier for you," he said and Elena realized what he wanted to do. He wanted to make her forget about him, he wanted to take away her memories with him…she couldn't let that happened. He took her face between his hands and looked her directly in the eyes.

"Damon, don't! Don't do this, please," she begged.

"I have to…you have to let me let you go," he explained.

"Let me go. Let me go if you have to. If I hurt you, stay away from me. If you don't want me to stop you, I won't. If you don't want me to look for you, I won't, I promise, but please, please don't take the pain of losing you away from me. If all I can have from you is the pain then let it hurt…please," she said crying.

He grabbed her hand and raised it to his lips. His lips were soft and warm against her skin, she liked the sensation. Then he kissed her cheek, her nose and finally her lips. She reached for the collar of his shirt and his fingers wrapped around it. She was holding the material tight enough to make her fingertips hurt. When he pulled back she could barely breathe.

"Take care of yourself Elena," he whispered and then he was gone. All it was left was the scent of his cologne in the air.

"Elena?" She head Stefan's voice. She didn't realize she was crying until she tried to speak and all that came from her mouth were soft moans and sobs.

"Hold me," she mange to say between breaths. And then she broke down in Stefan's arms.

***let me let you go***

Every day Elena expected Damon to come back. She'll get back to her room each and every night and open the door with the hope to find him standing by the edge of her bed, waiting for her, but he wasn't there. Every time the phone rang, she would rush to answer, hoping she would hear his voice, but it was never him on the other line.

Alaric, Stefan, Bonnie, Caroline and Jeremy, they were all avoiding his name, like it was a forbidden word. No matter how much they were trying, sometimes it just came up and it felt like an arrow in her heart. They were still working on finding a way to kill Klaus for good, but they were hitting a dead end each time. Elena was sure Alaric was talking to Damon from time to time, but she promised she would ask him to stay or look for him, so she only asked if he was ok, Alaric would nod subtly and that was all that keep her sane, knowing he was alright.

The days turned into weeks and weeks into months since she last saw him.

That day, she closed all the lights and made her way to her bedroom – like always. She opened the door and she knew something was different even before she got to turn on the lights.

"Damon…" she whispered.

"Are you ok?" he asked. She could hear him, she could smell him and she could definitely feel him, but she couldn't see him. Hearing his voice brought back every memory, every feeling and all the pain she was trying to heal. It was a pain that burned her heart, but she welcomed it…she wanted it…she loved it.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked in a whisper.

"They told me you were sick."

"I have a cold, I'll live," she answered.

"Can I see?" he asked.

"Yes, you can," she answered and her heart started beating faster in anticipation. It's been eleven months, two weeks, two days and nine hours since he left – yes, she counted.

"My, God, Elena you lost so much weight. What happened?" he asked taking a few steps towards her.

Elena didn't answer, she couldn't talk. She was just staring at the beautiful man in front of her. He looked exactly like she remembered, just as beautiful, just as intimidating. She couldn't help the burning tears that started pouring from her eyes.

"God, I missed you so much…" she whispered walking towards him. She tried to wrap her arms around him, but he pulled away.

"Elena, don't," he said, but she didn't give up.

"Please, I just want to feel you, to know you are real…just for a minute," she begged.

As soon as his arms went around her everything else around her chased to exist, nothing else mattered, because she will be ok. Nothing could happen to her if he was there, she could die in his arms and she'd still feel like nothing happened to her. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to take in his scent, coz he might be just a very beautiful dream and he might soon vanish and all she will have left would be his scent and the feeling of peace he was giving her.

She nuzzled into his neck, and then she pressed her lips to his cold cheek, moving closer and closer to his mouth.

"Elena, don't do this," he said weakly, but she didn't listen.

"I thought I can live without you, but I can't. I don't know what you though I felt about you an year ago when you left, I don't know what you think I feel about you now, but one thing I know for sure is that you're part of me. Without you I'm lost…"

"Don't talk like that," he asked.

"I need you…"

Her lips brushed over his…soft, warm and sweet, tempting him. He had no chance and she knew it. He buried his fingers in her messy waves and his mouth simply devoured hers. Their tongues battled for dominance as their hands were exploring each other's bodies. Before things got to go any further, Damon pulled away.

"You didn't let go," she said panting.

"Did you think even for a second that I could let you go?"

"It's been so long…"

"Eternity itself wouldn't be enough to help me let you go," he answered.

"Damon…" she whispered pushing her body closer to his. "Take me!"

"Not now. If you still want to do this tomorrow, I will take you, but not now," he said.

"Don't go!"

"I'm not going anywhere…" he assured her.

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><p><strong>N: Hope you enjoyed this, review and let me know. I am thinking about writing a smutty-one shot after this if enough people ask for it…so you know what to do if you'd like one; yes, review.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

The second part of this is posted as another one-shot called 'Let go? There's no letting go'. It contains this story and I added the smut for those of you craving it. I decided to add this 'chapter' – more like a note – to inform you, because there were 36 people who asked me to continue this and only 7 read the second part from the new one-shot. I hope you'll enjoy it and leave me a review to let me know.

Xoxo bibi


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